Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Explore the presentation of revenge in Hamlet Essay Example for Free

Explore the presentation of revenge in Hamlet Essay Revenge is a key theme in Hamlet. It is not only essential to understanding Hamlets character, it forms the structure for the whole play, supporting and overlapping other important themes that arise. Though it is Hamlets revenge that forms the basis for the story, tied into this is the vengeance of Laertes and Fortinbras, whose situations in many ways mirror Hamlets own. By juxtaposing these avengers, Shakespeare draws attention to their different approaches to the problem of revenge and how they resolve these. see more:theme of revenge in hamlet The idea of revenge is first introduced by the appearance of the ghost in act 1 Scene 5, and linked to this is the theme of hell and the afterlife. At the end of this scene, Hamlet is irreversibly bound to revenge for the duration of the play, speak, I am bound to hear So art thou to revenge. The ghost appears with the sole aim of using his son to obtain revenge on his brother, and so every word he speaks is designed to enrage Hamlet and stir in him a desire for vengeance. He uses very emotive language to exaggerate the enormity of the crime, and he concentrates Hamlets attention on the treachery of Claudius. His description of the murder itself demonises Claudius and contains many references to original sin, the serpent that did sting thy fathers life now wears his crown. Hamlet, who has been brought up with absolute notions of good and evil, is susceptible to these religious references, o all you host of heaven! O earth! And shall I couple hell? It is ironic that the ghost refers to his own torment, trapped in purgatory, in order to demonstrate to Hamlet the injustice of the situation, yet this serves only to warn Hamlet of the possible consequences of revenge. Instead of enraging him, Hamlet is now wary of acting rashly or without proof as it could place him in a similar situation to his father. The other revengers in the play do not have this wariness, they act immediately without considering the spiritual consequences and it is unclear whether Hamlet would have had a similar attitude had he not been inadvertently alerted to this danger by old Hamlets ghost. Though Hamlets immediate reaction to news of his fathers murder is one of anger and a desire for action, by the end of the scene his desire for revenge is already blunted, for a number of reasons. Unlike Laertes and Fortinbras, Hamlet receives the information of his fathers murder from a secret and unreliable source, which means that not only is he unsure of the truth, he is forced to act out his revenge in secret. Throughout the play, Hamlet frustrates the audience with his lack of action, especially as all around him his contemporaries are visibly taking their own revenge. Fortinbras is in a similar situation to Hamlet, as his father had been murdered by old Hamlet and his land taken. The land itself is worthless and Fortinbras stands to lose more than he can gain; yet like Hamlet it is a matter of honour. Both are exacting revenge for something that nobody else cares for or remembers; a dead king for whom nobody grieves and a patch of worthless land. Part of Hamlets dilemma is the moral question of whether his desire for revenge is worth disrupting and endangering the lives of all those around him, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them However, unlike Hamlet Fortinbras does not pause to contemplate the idea of revenge; he acts on it, sharked up a list of lawless resolutes and marched on Denmark. The difference in their characters is obvious; Fortinbras character matches his name, strong in arm. He is a man of action, not of words, he has a strong presence and a commanding attitude which demands obedience, Go captain, from me greet the Danish king I will dot my lord. Fortinbras situation is infinitely less complex than Hamlets own; the boundaries between good and evil, personal and public, right and wrong, are for him, clearly defined. He is able to act openly, uninfluenced by friends and family. Hamlet on the other hand is surrounded by people who have obligations to both himself and the king, and is therefore unsure of whom to trust. Hamlets dilemma is founded on this; that any action he takes carries with it risks and possible consequences which could destroy the foundation of his very existence, so he hesitates and does nothing, all the while hating himself for his inaction, makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of. The problem for Hamlet is that the murder is too close to home, so he is unable to define the boundaries between personal and public. He cannot publicly confront Claudius without proof because he risks losing his claim to the thrown, alienating his friends and family and being exiled from Denmark, as it would be seen as an attempt by the prince to regain the throne, rather than a son avenging his fathers murder. On top of this Hamlet hopes to avoid jeopardising his relationship with his mother, but at the same time he wants revenge on her for her betrayal. In order to fully understand Hamlets psyche and therefore the reasoning behind his actions, it is important to understand how religion affected all aspects of life in Elizabethan times. It was believed that a person who was able to confess his sins before death would be absolved and therefore go to heaven, but if a person were unable to do this their soul would be condemned to purgatory until they were able to confess and repent. Old Hamlets soul is in purgatory and Hamlet wants Claudius to suffer the same fate, a villain kills my father and for that, I his sole son do this same villain send to heaven. Why, this is hire and salary not revenge. For this reason Hamlet has to wait for the opportune moment to kill Claudius, when he is drunk asleep, or in his rage, at game, a-swearing or about some act that has no relish of salvation in it. However, the other problem which religion creates is that of Hamlets own afterlife. If murder for revenge is wrong then by killing Claudius, Hamlet condemns his own soul along with that of Claudius. On the other hand, Hamlet is honour bound to exact revenge for his fathers murder, and the consequences of not doing so could be even more drastic. Even suicide offers no solution, as the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others we know not of. Hamlets indecisiveness is not just a result of his uncertainty about the consequences his actions will have. He is in emotional turmoil at this point in the play, and is feeling betrayed and rejected by those whom he had relied on so far in his life. His anger and frustration at his mothers behaviour is amplified by her lack of grief, and his desire for revenge at the start of the play is mainly fuelled by his own grief and a sense of injustice. His anger towards Claudius diminishes, as he is distracted form revenge by more immediate concerns, such as his relationships with Ophelia and with his mother. Part of Hamlets feelings of isolation stem from what he sees as betrayal by his friends, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and his lover Ophelia. Hamlets critical relationship with Claudius forces all three to take sides, and decide to whom they owe the strongest allegiance. Ophelias father Polonious, Claudius right hand man, instructs her to shun Hamlet and, as his dependant she is forced to obey him. Women were viewed as property during Shakespearian times, and without a male protector her future prospects were slim. Also, the emphasis placed on family duty and loyalty was far greater, so to disobey her father would be tantamount to treason. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were given a direct order from their king, so to disobey would actually have been treason. Added to this was their ignorance of Hamlets situation due to both Hamlet and Claudius deceit, which meant that they were unsympathetic with Hamlets mental instability and obsession with old Hamlets death. Hamlet refuses to recognise the impossible situation his friends were placed in, and resents them for abandoning him when he needs them most, even though it is his feud with Claudius that has forced them to into it. Feeling betrayed, he has no compunctions in using them to further his own gains. All three are, ultimately, fatalities of Hamlets vendetta against Claudius, as Hamlet brings about the deaths of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and drives Ophelia to madness and suicide. Ophelia especially is very much a victim, as in obeying her father she loses Hamlet, and when Hamlet kills Polonious she loses him as well. With Laertes away, she has no-one left to protect her and is very much alone. In many ways, Hamlet himself is a victim of revenge, as he used as a tool by his father, to instigate revenge against old Hamlets killer. By placing this obligation on Hamlet, on top of all his emotional instability, Old Hamlet effectively pushes his son over the edge and renders him incapable of decisiveness. It is unsurprising that Hamlet is unable to take revenge or in fact make any significant decisions, as he is under considerable emotional and mental strain. Laertes is in a similar situation, as Hamlet his friend has murdered his father and driven his sister to madness. His vulnerable state of mind makes it easy for Claudius to use him as a tool against Hamlet, so the two friends become instruments in the power struggle between the two brothers, a struggle which crosses the divide between life and death. Laertes situation resembles Hamlet in other ways. They are joined by their love for Ophelia, Hamlet as a lover and Laertes as a brother. When Laertes returns to find his father murdered, he faces the same dilemma that Hamlet originally had in that, as far as he knew, the king of Denmark had murdered his father. Unlike Hamlet who promptly chose to employ deceit in order to combat Claudiuss deceit, when Laertes discovers this he immediately confronts Claudius. By doing this he achieves his revenge far sooner than Hamlet, but consequently becomes a tool for Claudius against Hamlet. These two revengers differ in their approach to revenge, but ultimately they come to the same end. They both fall victim to the corruption that surrounds the court of Denmark, with Claudius at the centre. Claudius use of deceit throughout the play hides the truth under a veil of dishonesty. Claudius uses other people as tools to achieve his aims, so if they fail he escapes the brunt. He uses Polonious, he uses the king of Norway against Fortinbras, and finally he uses Laertes against Hamlet himself. His corrupting influence means that nobody in Denmarck knows the truth, and Hamlets only attempt to break this veil of deceit causes the death of Polonious instead of Claudius. In act 3 scene 3, Shakespeare uses the curtain concealing Polonious as a metaphor for the corruption surrounding Denmark, making it impossible for Hamlet to take revenge as he is unaware of the truth. Though Hamlet tries to cut through the curtain, he fails and ends up killing the wrong man. This shows him that it is no good trying to confront the problem, he must remove the cloak of deceit and reveal Claudius for what he truly is before he can take his revenge. Though Hamlet tries to get around this problem by being deceitful himself, and Laertes tries to confront the problem face on, both end up being used as weapons in a fight that kills them both. The ending of the play is very satisfying despite, or perhaps because of, the deaths of nearly all the characters. For a neat ending, it was necessary that all the characters achieve their revenge, and as there were so many intertwining strands of revenge, it was inevitable that a large proportion of characters would be killed. The play ends with a new beginning, as the corruption at the heart of Denmark dies with Claudius and Hamlet. Hamlet succeeded in taking revenge on Claudius and revealing the truth about his character, and Laertes succeeded in killing Hamlet but died in the process. All this clears the way for Fortinbras, who we see is far more suited to leadership than the indecisive Hamlet. Fortinbras was more successful in his revenge than Hamlet and Laertes for a number of reasons. He is not held back by the dilemma that freezes Hamlet; of having to choose between betraying his fathers trust or losing the throne and alienating everyone he loves. Hamlet is held back by his proximity to Claudius and the situation, whereas Fortinbras is free to act uninfluenced by the people around him. Another factor in Fortinbras favour is that, unlike both Hamlet and Laertes, Fortinbras made the decision to take revenge alone, so it was entirely his responsibility. Revenge has to be nurtured in Hamlet and Laertes, and both are used as tools in the ongoing feud between the two brothers. Fortinbras is a man of action, and doesnt waste time pondering the philosophy behind the revenge mentality, as Hamlet does. And unlike Laertes, he plans and organises his revenge, he doesnt rush straight into confrontation unprepared. In fact, he represents the best qualities of both of them, so it is fitting that it is he who emerges with not only his life, but the throne of Denmark to go with it.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Spectrophotometric Assay for Lipase Activity

Spectrophotometric Assay for Lipase Activity Decomposition of human and animals bodies depends on numbers of factors. One of these factors is the presence of bacteria, both endogenous and exogenous of the body. They use the environmental factors to drive the decomposition of the tissues in the body. The various tissues are degraded at different rates by different bacterial cells. As it was seen in the model burial of a pig that is the early stages of decomposition Gram negative bacterial were mostly present in the decaying body. But after 6 7 weeks later the Gram negative bacteria started to decrease as the number of Gram positive bacteria present in the decaying body started to increase. The bacteria produce enzymes which break down any tissue in the body. In the adipose tissue bacteria produces lipases which is secreted in to he tissue and slowly starts to break down the fat. Lipases producing bacterial has been collected from a model burial environment without any environmental factors to see if there is a difference in the activity of the lipase enzyme which are produced by different bacteria species. These bacteria were used in two of the spectrophotometric assay that has been described in the literature. The turbidity assay shows how quickly the lipase enzyme can break down the lipid in the emulsion solution. On the other hand the BALB (dimercaprol Tributyrate) DTNB (5, 5- dithiobis (2-nitrobenzoic acid)) method shows the increase in the product that is produced by the lipase. INTRODUCTION Lipases are found naturally as it is produced by plants, animals and micro-organisms. In the last few decades, the micro-organism production of lipases has been studied for commercial use, which leads to bacterial lipases being studied a great deal. Lipase enzymes breakdown and mobilize lipids which are present within the cell of the organism and the breakdown of lipid is also present in the environment. However there are many questions still unanswered. For example, is the activity of the lipases different when they are produced by different strains or species of bacteria? Hopefully in this research paper, this question will be answered. Bacterial Lipases When bacteria is grown in a surrounding of hydrophobic media, the bacterial cell releases lipase for the breakdown of fats in the environment for a source of energy. Bacteria produce lipases during the late phases of log phases and in the stationary phases. Lipases are hydrolases which hydrolyzes triacylglycerols in aqueous conditions to form fatty acids and glycerol. The reaction releases energy which is used for growth of the bacteria which is why the bacterium produces lipases within these phases. The substrates of the lipases are triacylglycerols which are hydrophobic and the reaction occurs in aqueous condition and this leads to the reaction occurring in lipid-water interface. Some lipases can also catalyze the synthesis of long chain fatty acids. Lipases contains ÃŽ ±/ÃŽ ² fold, which has eight ÃŽ ² sheets in the middle which are parallel except for the second ÃŽ ² sheet and the sheets are surrounded by ÃŽ ± helices. This fold offers a scaffold for the active site in the lipase molecule. The active site or binding site of the lipase molecule is where the interface occurs. This is where the chains of the enzyme are subdivided; at the bottom of the active site is where the ester bond binds to which means this region is hydrophilic. Towards the surface of the enzyme is where the molecule binds to the fatty acids and therefore this region is hydrophobic. Within the ÃŽ ²-sheets there is an area which is highly conserved which is made up of the triad which is a nucleophile and histidine. The nucleophile is made up several amino acids, which are Serine, Cysteine or aspartic acid. The nucleophile is present on ÃŽ ²5 and the histidine is present on ÃŽ ²7. The histidine is the only highly conserved area of the active site/enzyme that d iffers in shape and structure from one type of lipase enzyme to another. Another area of the active site that is important but only present in some type of lipases is the lid. This area is what gives the lipase enzyme the structural explanation of the interface property. When the substrate comes into contract with the lid, it opens the lipid water interface where the substrate binds to for the reaction to occur. Some lipase molecules are only active in the presence of Ca2+ and this is due to the subdivisions of the active site being bound together by the Ca2+ion. The hydrophobic region of the active site leads to less inhibitors that can bind to and inactivate the enzyme. Since lipases are extracellular enzymes, the secretion/production of these enzymes is affected by a number of factors: Nutritional enzymes are produced when the bacteria is in the presence of a lipid environment such as oil, tweens, hydrolyzable esters and triacylglycerols. These are the main sources of lipid but many bacteria can produce lipases in the presence of various sources of substrates. For example Pseudomonas aeruginosa produce lipase in the presence of long chain fatty acids such as oleic and linoleic acid. Temperature the temperature at which maximum production of lipase can occur depends on the optimum temperature for growth of bacteria. The temperature normally ranges from 30 60Â °C, but some can survive at colder or warmer temperatures. Therefore it depends on the type of bacteria in question. pH normally bacterial lipases are active in neutral pH or alkaline pH. However there are a few exceptions like Pseudomonas fluorescens lipase has an optimum pH of 4.8, whereas most bacterial species possess stability over a broad range of pH of 4 10. Effect of ion one type of lipase which is produced by Pseudomonas species is activated by the presence of Ca2+ ion in the environment. Growth of bacteria if the bacterial cell is present in the log phase then the production of lipase is decreased in the bacterial cell. Inhibitors inhibition of lipases does not affect the production or the secretion of the enzyme but affects the activity of the enzyme. There are two types of inhibitors; irreversible or reversible. The reversible inhibitors are split into two types. The first of which are non specific as they bind to the enzyme but not at the active site. When the inhibitor binds to the enzyme, the active site changes and therefore prevents the lipases from binding to the substrate as the structure of the active site has been changed. An example of this type of inhibitor is bile salts. However bile salts can activate some lipases such as the lipase produced by the pancreas. The second type of reversible inhibitors is specific inhibitors as they bind to the active site of the lipase enzyme. They can also be irreversible as the interaction between the inhibitor and the enzyme is so strong that it cannot be broken. An example of this type of inhibitor is boronic acid which can bind to the active site f or a long time but can still be removes leaving the active site unchanged. These types of inhibitors bind to the triad of the active site, which means that when they bind to the triad, the interaction is irreversible. There are three major types of microbial lipases depending on the substrate they bind to. Nonspecific these enzymes act randomly on the lipid substrate molecules which then completely breakdown the molecule. For example with the triglyceride molecule, the enzyme will break the ester in random fashion until the molecule is complete broken down to fatty acids and glycerol. Regiospecific these enzymes only hydrolyze the primary ester bond, these are the C1 and C3 bonds in the triglyceride molecule , which means that when hydrolyzing triglycerides the final products are free fatty acids, 1, 2(2,3)-diacylglyceride and 2-monoacylglyceride. Fatty acid-specific there are some bacteria that only produce this type of lipase and they bind to fatty acids which are then broken down by the lipase. One type of bacteria that can produce lipases that only bind fatty acids is the Achromobacterium lipolyticum. Other bacteria that produce this type of enzyme are Bacillus species which mostly bind to long chained fatty acids. However other bacteria like Pseudomonas species produce lipases that can bind to short or medium length of fatty acids. Staphylococcus aureus can produce a lipase molecule that can bind to unsaturated fatty acids. Lipase in Decomposition The bacteria that are going to be used in the research project are bacteria that were purified from a model burial environment. The bacteria that were present in the model burial environment must have been already been present in the pigs body, which means that all the bacteria that are going to be used are endogenous bacteria that are part of the pigs microflora. The bacteria sample had been taken out of the fluid from the decaying organism in a steel box which was free from all external environmental factors except from oxygen. The sample of bacteria was taken two times a week and then towards the end it was reduced to once a week. It was discovered that at the beginning of the decaying process the bacteria that were present were Gram negative bacteria. However after week 9 the bacteria that were growing in the decaying pig changed from Gram negative to Gram positive. These bacterial cells can release lipases which can break down fats in the body which leads to the formation of adi pocere. Adipocere is made up from a mixture of saturated fatty acids which have been produced during decomposition of the adipose tissue in the body. These adipoceres are formed straight away after death by lipases which are present inside the body. These lipases are mostly produced by the bacteria in the body of the pig which breaks down triglycerides to free fatty acids. If in a suitable environment, bacteria release lipases for hydrogenation of unsaturated fatty acids to its saturated form. Lipase Assays There are two assays that will be performed to find out the activity of the lipase which are present in the solution. The first is based on BALB DTNB method and it uses dimercaprol tributyrate (BALB) and 5, 5 dithiobis (2-nitrobenzoic acid) (DNTB). The lipase enzyme binds to BALB and cleaves it to form an SH group which then binds to DNTB. The product then forms a yellow product which then increases the absorbance which can be measured using a spectrophotometer. The colour intensity is measured at 412 nm; the colour change is proportional to the activity to lipase at to 1:1 ratio. The second assay also uses the spectrophotometer but this time it measures the optical density of the solution instead of measuring the amount of product that is formed. Tributyrin and olive oil is emulsified in the solution which gives a turbid appearance. As the lipase breaks down the lipid in the assay solution, the optical density of the solution decreases which can be measured. The optical density of the solute ion can be measured at 450nm. Both assays measure the activity of the lipase but in two different ways. The first measures the amount of product that is formed while the second measures the breakdown of the substrate. AIMS AND OBJECTIVES Decomposition of human or animal bodies is dependent upon a number of factors. Bacteria which are endogenous (in the body) and exogenous (in the environment) are the key components of decomposition. Different tissues in the body degrade at different rates and are degraded by different bacteria. Previously it has been shown that bacteria in the model burial environment can produce lipases which breakdown the lipids found within the tissues of the body. However it does not tell you if there are different lipases that are secreted by different bacterial cells. Lipase production was demonstrated by using plate assay when lipase breaks down tween 20. Therefore it does not compare the different lipases produced and the activity of different bacterial species. There have been different spectrophotometric assays that have been described in the literature to calculate the activity of lipase enzymes, but only two of these will be used. The bacteria that is going to be used in the assay has been purified from fluid from a decaying pig in a steel box which is free from all external environmental factors expect oxygen. Two assays are going to be preformed to find the activity of lipase, the first one similar to the BALB DTNB method. Lipase forms a SH group on BALB which then binds to DTNM to give a yellow product. The amount of product that is formed in a solution is related to the activity of lipase in a 1:1 reacting ratio which is a direct measurement of the activity. The colour change is measured at 420 nm. The second assay is also measure the change in the solution but this time it measures the decrease of the substrate that is left in the solution. It measures the density of the solution, as the substrate (olive oil) is denser than the product. The density is measured 450 nm. The decreased of the substrate is related to the activity of lipase. At first before anything can be done we need to see if the bacteria cells produced lipase is by growing them in a plate which contains Tween 80. If the Tween is broken down then the bacterial cell produces lipase. MATERIALS AND METHODS The bacterial strains that were given to me were extracted from fluid from a pig that was decaying in a steel box which had a controlled environment that was free from all external environment factors expect fresh air. Bacterial Media The bacterial strains were grown in half nutrient agar which was made from 2.6g of nutrient broth (OXOID, Basingstoke, England) and 4.8g of Agar bacteriological (OXIOD) in 400ml of water which was autoclaved and then poured in to 20ml Petri dish. The bacterial strains were plated and left in a 30Â °C incubator overnight. After the bacteria were grown on just half nutrient agar, they were then grown on half nutrient agar with 4ml of sterile Tween 80 (SIGMA ALDRICH, UK) and 400Â µl of 10% of CaCl2 (scientific equipment, Loughborough, England). Again the plates were placed in a 30Â °C incubator. The bacterial strains were also grown in minimal medium agar which contained 2.8g of Potassium Hydrogen Orthophosphate (BDH Laboratory Supplies, Poole, England), 1.2g Sodium Dihydrogen Orthophosphate (BDH LS) and 0.04g of Magnesium Sulphate (BDH LS) in 200ml of sterile water and 2.4g of Agar bacteriological. After the solution came out of the autoclave, 2ml of Tween 80 was added and 200Â µl of 10 % CaCl2. For the bacterial strains to be used in spectrophotometric assay, the strains had to be grown in liquid media. The bacterial strains were grown in two different types of media, Tryptic Soy Broth and Minimal Medium. The Tryptic Soy Broth (TBS) was made from 30g/L Tryptone Soya Broth (OXIOD) which was autoclaved. After the bacteria were added to the media, the bottle was placed in a shaking incubator at 37Â °C over night. The Minimal Medium contained 14g/L of potassium hydrogen orthophosphate, 6g/L sodium dihydrogen orthophosphate and 0.2g/L of magnesium sulphate. 100Â µl of Tributyrate (SIGMA ALDRICH) was added to 10ml of the Minimal Media. The bacteria were added to the media and then placed in a shaking incubator at 37Â °C over night. Sample Solutions After the bacteria are left to grow, the media is used to make up three different samples of bacteria to use in both of the assays. The first sample is purified bacterial strain from the media and this was obtained when 1ml of the media was placed in a sterile eppendorf tube which was then centrifuged at full speed for 2 minutes. The supernatant was replaced with 500Â µl of 150mM of CaCl2 and 500Â µl of 200mM of Tris buffer (12.11g of Trizma base in 150ml of water and then 0.1M of HCl was added to make the pH of the solution 8, this to make 0.5M Tris Buffer which was then diluted to make 200mM solution) (SIGAM ALDICH). The second sample was done in the same manner but instead of adding Tris buffer and CaCl2 to the pellet, PBS (Phosphate buffered saline) solution is utilized to re-suspend the pellet and 2ml of the media solution is used. Each suspension was transferred in to a different Bijou Bottle which is kept on ice. The suspension in the Bijou Bottle is sonicated twice for 30 seconds at 30W. The last sample was made when the media solution is filtered with the use of a sterile syringe and sterile 0.2Â µm pore syringe filter and placing the filtered solution into a sterile universal bottle. 3ml of the media was only filtered. The samples were ready for the assay and two different that were used. They both measured the absorbance of the solution at different wavelengths. One measured the turbidity of the solution while the other looked at the change in the absorbance of the solution. Turbidity Assay For the turbidity assay an emulsion solution is made and it is made from 100mM of Tris buffer (4.975ml), 50mM of CaCl2 (4.975ml) and 50ml of lipid source (either olive oil or Tributyrate or both). The solution was sonicated for 3 minutes at 40W. The solution is left in a water bath until it is used for the assay. The emulsion solution is used in three different ways as the assay was performed in a cuvette, Petri dish or 96 well plate. When done in a cuvette, 40mg of low melting point agarose (SIGMA ALDRICH) is added and the boiled before sonication. The agarose stabilises the emulsion. If the assay was done in a 96 well plate, then no agarose is necessary. The last test that is performed is in 20ml plates; 20ml of the emulsion solution is made up with 80mg of agarose to made a solid media (INVITROGEN, Paisley, UK) which is then boiled before and after sonication. For the 96 wells plate, 200Â µl of the emulsion solution was placed in each well and then 20Â µl of the sample solution was added. As soon as the sample was added the absorbance is measured at 450nm to measure the optical density of the solution. The absorbance was then measured every 15 minutes up to 60 minutes. Here the samples that were used were grown in the Minimal Medium. The lipid source in this part of the assay was 25Â µl of olive oil and 25Â µl of Tributyrate in 10ml of the emulsion solution. For the assay that was done in the cuvette 1L of the emulsion solution was added to a micro cuvette and 100Â µl of the sample solution. The absorbance was also measured at 450nm as soon as the sample is been added and then every 5 minutes up to 45 minutes. The lipid source is 50Â µl of olive oil in 10ml of emulsion solution. For the plate assay after the solution was boiled for the second time, the solution was poured in to a plate for the agarose to set. After the agarose was set, wells were made in the agarose using a hollow punch about 8mm in diameter which was filled with 10Â µl of the sample solution and the plate was left at room temperature over night. In 20ml of the emulsion solution the lipid source was 50Â µl of each olive oil and Tributyrate. Colour Assay (BALB DNTB Method) The second assay measures the absorbance change in the working solution. The working solution is made from BALB (SIGMA ALDRICH) and DNTB (SIGMA ALDRICH) and Tris buffer solution. The working solution was made from 1 ml of BALB is added to 17.5ml of 0.5M of Tris Buffer at pH 8.5 and 625mg of DNTB. 150Â µl of the working solution is added to the well after adding 150Â µl of water. To this 10Â µl of the sample was added. When the assay was done in 96 well plate the absorbance was measured after the sample was added at 405nm and then every 10 minutes for 30 minutes. When the assay was done in a cuvette, at first 400Â µl of water was placed in the cuvette then 380Â µl of the working solution was added to the water. Then the 20Â µl of the working sample was added into the cuvette. The absorbance was the measured at 412 nm for the 20 minutes. The reason why there is a difference in the wavelength in which the absorbance is measured is due to the plate reader not being able to read the absorbance at 412nm. For this assay the samples that were used were prepared from the bacteria that were grown in TSB. RESULTS When the bacteria colonies were grown on the agar plate which had Tween 80 and CaCl2, around the colonies there was the presence of halos or the colonies has a halo this can be seen in figure 1a. The arrow shows the halo colonies of the bacteria species. The bacteria colonies that were placed on other plates was not as clear as 16C but the halo can only be seen when the plates are held up by the light (result not shown). Turbidity Assay The first assay that was done was the turbidity assay in a cuvette, the optical density of the solution did not increase or decrease, and it just stayed the same. But when the assay was done in the 96 well plate the optical density increased when the bacteria were added to the well, and then decrease and keep decreasing even after 60 minutes (figure 2a). Then the filtered media was added to the emulsion solution in the 96 well plate, the optical density again decreased. However not all the bacteria were filtered to see if there was a decrease in the optical density (figure 3). Only some of the bacteria were used to see if it was an enzyme that was decreasing the optical density and not the bacterial cells. However the general result showed a decrease in the optical density except for 2 bacterial strains (1A and 4A) which showed an increase in the optical density after 30 minutes and then it optical density again. Then the bacteria cell free lysates were added to the welled plate and the same result appeared as the optical density levels decreased once again. The bacteria that were used were the same bacteria that were used in the filtered part of the assay (figure 4). After 45 minutes the optical density is starting to level off. The gradient of the line for all the bacteria strains are the same as they all decrease at the same rate expect for bacteria strain 5 which has flatter gradient than the rest. For the plate test in the turbidity assay, the bacterial solution in the well was not present and no zone of clearance was noticeable in any of the plates (figure 1b). Only one of the plates is shown in the figure and the rest of the plates looked the same as no zone could be seen. Colour Assay (BALB DNTB Method) In the BALB-DNTB method, the absorbance increases when bacteria strain 6 was added to the working solution in a cuvette and measured for 20 minutes. The increase was slow for the first 10 minutes and then increased at a faster rate for the next 10 minutes, figure 5. When the assay was done in the welled plate, the absorbance increases for all the strains but some increase more than others. For example strain 5 increased from 4.204 to 4.412 while strain 1 only increased from 4.241 to 4.265. This is shown in a table in figure 2b. When only the media in which the bacteria grew in was added as the sample, the absorbance also increased for most of the bacterial strains but not as much as when the bacterial cells were added. For some of the strains the absorbance decreased. For example in strain 1 there was a decrease from 4.241 to 4.235, figure 2c. The same happened when the content of the bacterial cell was added to the working solution. But when the absorbance increased, the increase was bigger than the increase when media was added (figure 2d). However there were still some strains in which the absorbance still decreased in 20 minutes but the absorbance increased from 0 to 10 minutes and then decreased from 10 to 20 minutes. Figure 1, (a) the plate has been plated with strain 16C (left) and 16B (right); the halo can be seen clear by the arrow which is the colonies of bacteria 16C. However the halo can not be seen clearly in the colonies of bacteria. (b), the plate contain solid emulsion solution with well which contain lipases from different bacteria, and there is no presence of zone of clearance from any of the well. There were 3 plates in total and all look the same (only one is shown) but the well had different lipases from different bacteria. Figure 2, A is a table that shows the optical density change when bacterial was added to emulsion solution for the turbidity assay. The optical density decreases when the bacterial cells were added to the emulsion solution. The next 3 tables are showing the absorbance change when the strains were added to the working solution for the colour BALB-DNTB method, (B) has bacterial cells added to the working solution; (C) has only filtered media, which had bacteria growing in, was added and lastly (D) had bacterial cells free lysates added. In the colour assay the absorbance increased in all three cases. DISCUSSION Bacteria produce lipases that can break down or hydrolyse lipid molecules such as fats and oils. They produce lipases in the log phase of growth when there is a high level of lipid source for energy. There are different lipases which can break down different lipid molecules. The bacterium produces lipases to break down lipid for energy as adequate amount energy is present in lipids. As most of the lipids cannot cross the cell membrane, the lipid has to be catabolised into smaller lipid molecules which can then enter the cell where it is broken down further. Lipases from bacteria are studied for industrial uses. Here it was studied to see if the lipases that were produced from different bacteria are different and if there was any variation in the activity of the lipases. When the bacterial cells were grown on agar plate without any Tween 80 the bacterial colonies do not have any halos or precipitate around the colonies. But when some of the bacteria were grown in agar that contained Tween 80 and CaCl2 the colonies had halo colonies 3 to 8 days after they were inoculated. In the past Tween has been used for lipase activity to see if the bacteria produce lipase. If lipases are produced then it binds to the Tween and breaks the Tween down to fatty acids. The fatty acids then bind to the Ca in the media which forms crystals. These crystals then become soluble in the media which can then be seen by eye as halos. Some of the colonies had halos which meant that the cell produced lipases. Figure 6, the turbidity plate assay should have looked like this but what the figure 1b shows. There the one of clearance can be seen very clearly where as in the plate in figure 1b there are no clearing at all what meant the assay did not work at all. The turbidity assay that was done is the plate which showed no zone of clearance, it should have had zone of clearance around the well which contained the sample of bacteria. The bacteria in the wells should have diffused out of the well and in to the agarose media in which the bacteria should have released lipases to break down the olive oil and Tributyrate. When the lipids were broken down the media would have become clear. The plate should have look like figure 6 from, the zone of clearance is shown very clearly. The other assay that did not work was the same assay that was done with the cuvette. This is when the absorbance levels did not decrease but just stayed the same. The absorbance levels should have decreased and the reason in why this did not occur is not known. It might have been due to the stability of the solution as the agarose must have been concentrated which meant that the bacteria solution was not able to diffuse through the media. The concentration of agarose might be the problem because when agarose was not added like in the 96 well plate part of the assay, the absorbance of the emulsion solution decreased. This was due to the emulsion solution being turbid by lipid in the solution when sonicated, when the bacteria sample was added the optical density increased slightly as the bacteria cell scatter the light which leads to the increase in the optical density absorbance levels. The bacteria cell then releases lipase in the solution or lipase that are inside the cell break down the lipid in the emulsion solution which then leads to the decrease in the level of lipid in the emulsion solution which then means that less light is scattered. The well plate assay was done to 3 different type of sample solution, one of which contained bacteria cell, one of which contained the filtered media solution and the last contained the bacteria cell free lysates. The bacterial cells were used to see if the bacterial cell produced lipases. The filtered media was used to see if the bacterial cell released lipase in to the media and if it was in fact the lipase that was decreasing the absorbance and not anything else. The bacteria content was used after the bacteria cell were sonicated for one minute, to use all the lipases that had been produced by the bacterial cell but not secreted. As not all the bacteria cells release the lipase in to the media and sometime the lipid molecule is too big to cross the cell membrane and wall of the bacteria. To see if there are any differences in the activity of the different lipases which are produced by different bacterial cells, cannot be done by adding the sample to the emulsion solution as different concentration of lipase must have been in the sample for each of the strains. In order to make the test fair, the amount of bacterial cell and the lipase concentration must be the same for each of the bacterial strain. But still it might be a fair test as some of the bacterial cells can still divide inside the emulsion solution and then increase the concentration of lipases. The lipases produced by the bacteria are produced in the log phase. The same can be said for the BALB-DNTB method. This assay is not like the other assay because the absorbance does not decrease but increase. This is due to the lipase bind to the BALB in which is cleaved to form a SH group. The SH group then binds to DNTB which is in excess in the working solution, to form a yellow substance. The complex then absorbs light hence increasing the level of absorbance. The bind of the BALB with the new SH group binds to the DNTB in a one to one reacting ratio, this means that increases is absorbance is proportional to the reacting activity of the lipase. When bacterial cells were mixed to the working solution the absorbance for most of them increase. This meant that lipases that were present in the well were cleaved BALB. The same thing also occurred when filtered media was added to the working solution but the increase were small and this must be due to the fact that not a lot of lipases were released by the bacterial cells in to the media solution. However, when the bacterial cell free lysates is added not all of the absorbance levels increase but in fact some of them decrease and then increase. It may mean that the lipases need time to start working since they had been on ice before the experiment. To see if this was true, the test needs to be done again but for a longer period of time. In the cuvette test, only one strain, it was used when the first assay was done it had the largest change in absorbance. It was used to see a general increase of the solution over 20 minutes and the absorbance was measured every minute to see the turning point when the rate of enzymatic activity change from being slow to a steady normal rate. The graph in figure 5 shows that the rate was slow during the first 10 minute this meant the bacteria cell needed to adapt to the new environment before the activity of the enzyme can to back to normal. If the test was done longer then the graph would start to level due to the substrate concentration starting to decrease. From the results, there is not enough evidence to conclude that there any differences in the activity of the different strains of lipase. To see if it is true then the both of the a

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Exegesis and Critique of Nietzsche’s Conception of Guilt In The Second

Exegesis and Critique of Nietzsche’s Conception of Guilt In The Second Essay of On the Genealogy of Morality In the Second Essay of On the Genealogy of Morals (titled â€Å"â€Å"Guilt,† â€Å"Bad Conscience,† and the Like†), Nietzsche formulates an interesting conception of the origin and function of guilt feelings and â€Å"bad conscience.† Nietzsche’s discussion of this topic is rather sophisticated and includes sub-arguments for the ancient equivalence of the concepts of debt and guilt and the existence of an instinctive joy in cruelty in human beings, as well as a hypothesis concerning the origin of civilization, a critique of Christianity, and a comparison of Christianity to ancient Greek religion. In this essay, I will attempt to distill these arguments to their essential points. Near the beginning of the Second Essay â€Å"â€Å"Guilt,† â€Å"Bad Conscience,† and the Like† of On the Genealogy of Morals Nietzsche asserts that forgetting is absolutely necessary for â€Å"all the nobler functions and functionaries† (2.1) and even the present to be possible. Furthermore, according to Nietzsche, memory, which inhibits the above functions, is not merely an inability to forget, but an active will not to forget (2.2). Primeval man acquired the faculty of memory, according to Nietzsche, in response to his sudden enslavement at the hands of a master race (2.17). These masters set as their task the imposition of a few general rules of civilized existence (otherwise known as the morality of mores) upon their subjects, who had been â€Å"slaves of momentary affect and desire† (2.3) before their enslavement. This project, according to Nietzsche, necessitated the searing of these basic rules into the minds of the populace by means of immensely cruel acts and resulted in t... ...no way implies that Nietzsche is presenting the ideas of the Genealogy in bad faith; he certainly believes that they have some truth to them-but perhaps not to the extent that they are definitive. Thus, it is possible that Nietzsche, in writing his polemic, has other goals than the mere straightforward elucidation of a philosophical system. If this view is adopted, many of Nietzsche’s radical notions and unsupported assertions become easier to stomach. Of course, such a softening of the impact of Nietzsche’s claims may destroy the fundamental mind-opening project that lies at the heart of the book, since the shock of encountering such views is clearly essential to that project. Works Cited: Nietzsche, Friedrich On the Genealogy of Morals contained in: Nietzsche Basic Writings Of Nietzsche translated and edited Walter Kaufman. New York: The Modern Library, 1992.

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Athletic Training Career Essay -- Sports, Health and Physical Educatio

"Here she comes around the last curve she's just about to break the world record for fastest mile run by a woman. Almost there, and she's done it! But wait, she's on the ground, gee whiz I think her knees gave out!" How is this girl going to get better? What should she do to fix this? An athletic trainer would be able to answer these questions and help this girl get back into the best physical condition possible so she could run again. The following are key parts of the Athletic Training career, including, but not limited to: requirements of education and colleges that offer programs; basic job titles and responsibilities; employers; benefits, hours, annual income; extending the job experience. An Athletic Trainer is by definition "a medical professional who prevents, assesses, treats, and rehabilitates injuries." These professionals are recognized by the American Medical Association, and are part of the Allied Health Services. Athletic Trainers must be mature enough to handle emerge ncy circumstances, such as an unexpected injury, distraught athletes and parents. They must know how to prevent injury, or evaluate an injury in order to care for and rehabilitate the injured party ("Defining" 1). Now, every good career person must have an education, and Slippery Rock University of Pennsylvania is a well known college for becoming an Athletic Trainer. It has a competitive, nationally accredited, Athletic Training program so that after the first two years of college a student must apply for a position. It also has an excellent fitness facility. Curriculum generally includes "assessment and evaluation, acute care, general medical conditions and disabilities, pathology of injury and illness, therapeutic exercise, therapeutic modalities, r... ...r career extensions or changes among Athletic Trainers. The time it would take to add another degree to a resume would depend on the type of degree or certification required and the college or university attended. However, adding more degrees tends to make a person more qualified and wanted in higher paying positions, just keep in mind that higher paying positions also take more time. Athletic Training can be a very rewarding career if someone is ambitious enough to go far. The author of this paper no longer wants to become an Athletic Trainer anymore because higher pay is harder to achieve, and an extreme amount of time would be needed to get into the highest pay bracket. I think this career would be better for single, healthy people, or an athletic family that does not mind the parent being away for periods of time on, whichever, weekends, days or nights.

Friday, August 2, 2019

Free Waste Land Essays: The Current Relevance :: T.S. Eliot Waste Land Essays

The Current Relevance of The Waste Land Eliot’s poem, The Waste Land, is at least as relevant to life today as it was in 1922, when it was first published. All of the themes stated at the beginning of the Norton Anthology's introduction to the poem ("spiritual dryness," a lack of "regenerating belief" to give meaning to life, and death without resurrection) are with us to an even greater degree than they were at the time the poem was first published. (Introduction 2146) The attitudes toward sexuality that are implicitly condemned throughout the work have not changed in any way that Eliot would be likely to see as an improvement, either. "The Waste Land" does not merely present an anthropological description of a culture, however, and the solution proposed by Eliot seems as relevant today as it must have been in 1922. Like Blake, Eliot constructs a personal mythology, but Eliot draws on a larger number of sources than Blake does: various religions from both the east and the west, works of literature from around the world, and works of philosophy and anthropology. Eliot refers to the fragmentary references throughout the poem at the end of the poem by saying, "These fragments I have shored against my ruins" -- that is, Eliot has taken fragmentary references and pieced them together in an attempt to come to grips with the modern situation in which he finds himself. (line 431) The references from the poem are nearly always references to the past, when a cultural heritage was common to an entire people, the themes described in the Norton Anthology's introduction were nonexistent (or were problematic to a much lesser degr ee than in the modern era), and when sexuality found its expression in a context Eliot would have seen as appropriate -- a mature relationship between men and women that expresses both love and physical passion. Perhaps more important than the building of this personal mythology, however, is the solution Eliot explicitly offers in "What the Thunder Said." Eliot weaves in a Hindu story in which gods, devils, and humans each ask their common father, Prajapati, for advice.

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 14. Plans

Coasting down the sweeping drive, I was reveling in the scent that was still lingering in the car. When I pulled up to the garage I saw Jasper and Emmett fooling around and wrestling outside. Instead of leaving the vehicle I took another breath. The aroma was intoxicating. Jasper turned to stare at me after he was immersed immediately in undulations of love, like a sponge absorbing water. My intense love was flowing through me as if there were blood flowing through my veins again. Each second, Jasper was being saturated in my bliss. He shook his head in absolute fascination at my involvement with the human girl that was swiftly taking over my existence. I rolled my eyes at him, ignoring his preconceived notions. He turned back to Emmett, grabbing his wrist and swinging him over his shoulder while Emmett landed with a loud thud on the ground. â€Å"I'm going to get you for that,† Emmett grabbed at Jaspers ankle, bringing him down to the ground, another loud thud issued through the small clearing. They both jumped up and began beating on each other. Watching the pair of them brawl was always amusing to me because Jasper would use moves that Emmett had never imagined before and Emmett would ultimately be defeated. Though he was tremendously sturdy, Jasper had familiarity in fighting particularly strong vampires. Their grappling continued while Jasper attempted to throw Emmett down, which eventually worked, but fighting with Emmett reminded me of a human trying to wrestle a piano up the stairs. Dammit! Where does he come up with those moves?Emmett rumbled. Jasper was chuckling in a patronizing tone at Emmett's indistinct muttering. I couldn't help but snicker right along with him. He's in a better mood. â€Å"Hey, wanna wrestle, bro?†Emmet smiled at the thought. â€Å"Emmett,† I tried to stifle my chuckle. â€Å"You know that you will just get angry because I will hear what move you are going to make!† I said in good spirits. Whatever, Edward! Emmett replied sarcastically. His lip curved up in a menacing way and in the next instant he visualized tackling me. He flashed towards me, and in that second I bounded up and on his back, ready for the attack. A few choice curse words exited his mouth. Snickering, I leapt off his back and continued walking towards the house, Jasper's loud guffaws continued echoing through the forest. â€Å"It's so unfair, you know?† Emmett complained. I am beginning to see why Alice likes this human girl so much, Edward is not brooding anymore, Jasper hit Emmett with a small pine tree. Thwack. â€Å"Ahhhh,† Emmett shouted while running full force toward Jasper like a train going full speed. Thwack. Emmett laid on the ground, giving up. Jasper chuckled. I threw them a quick smile over my shoulder before entering the house. â€Å"I bet he won't bring her back,† Jasper said to Emmett, knowing I could still hear. I grimaced. â€Å"What's on the table?† Emmett chuckled. â€Å"I won't use my abilities during our next three football games,† Jasper said, grinning. â€Å"Yeah, no more warm fuzzy feelings about how precious the pig skin football is!† Emmett agreed. â€Å"And if you lose, Emmett?† Jasper continued. â€Å"I won't say another word about that incident in Alaska†¦you remember, don't you?† Emmett retorted with a smile in his voice. â€Å"You're on!† Jasper exclaimed. This was apparently the second bet Jasper had made today, though I never understood why he would bet against Alice. I continued to be in better spirits regardless of the banter between Emmett and Jasper and no doubt it was due to the exceptionally delicate girl, Bella. I saw Alice and Rosalie working on their fashion line when I walked inside and they both looked up. Rosalie was finally starting to rein in most of her frustrations. Alice flitted toward me. Can I meet Bella now? Please! I just found the perfect dress for her to wear. Seriously, have you seen the girl's wardrobe? She needs help! Alice's vision of Bella and her, arms around each other's waist, once more flickered in her mind. There was something new there, though, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. â€Å"Alice, please, not now,† I pleaded. Her bottom lip puckered out and she frowned. â€Å"I'm sorry, Alice. I just don't think I am ready.† Or I'm not willing to share her when I just so recently obtained her, I thought dubiously. It will happen, Edward. I love her and you can't keep her to yourself forever!Alice's lower lip was still protruding. She marched away from me and began working with Rosalie again. Pig,Rosalie snapped. At least her thoughts were becoming less insulting. When I entered my room I placed a classical CD in the player, trying to drive my thoughts away from the brown-eyed girl that was always at the forefront of my mind. Instead of listening to the intricate workings of the master piece I was listening to all I could think about is how Bella's heart sounded strangely like the melody flowing from the violin in the background, or how her voice sounded like some musical ballad that no instrument would ever be able to duplicate. Or how the rhythm of her pulse was perfectly harmonious with her very soul. An hour had elapsed and no matter how relentlessly I tried, all I could imagine was her magnificent bouquet, her blushing cheeks or her continuous, melody like heart pumping her soul with life. I was in dispute with myself about going to see her. Each grueling minute was passing at a snail's pace as I sat on my couch, yearning to be close to her. It wasn't long before I lost my internal argument, though; I sprang out my window and proceeded in the direction of Bella's. There he goes again, Emmett saw me through the window. When I arrived outside her house, Billy and Jacob Black were still there. I began searching their thoughts, hoping I hadn't missed something important. Jacob's thoughts were very irritating. He couldn't keep his eyes off Bella but his thoughts were not like Mike's; he put Bella on a pedestal in his mind and respected her. Regardless, I was still not happy about the way he fantasized her. The Blacks were about to depart and I was able to listen in on them with no difficulty, easily probing their minds for information, secretly unlocking more of Bella's thoughts by spying on her. Here I was, being the vampire stalker again, like a falcon searching for prey. â€Å"Are you and your friends coming back to the beach soon?† Jacob asked, excited. I really hope so†¦I think Bella likes me. Man, she is so good-looking! â€Å"I'm not sure,† Bella sidestepped Jacob's question. Dang, I hope she comes to the reservation soon. I had a good time with her last time she was there. I think she likes me, too. She was flirting with me†¦ I think.Jacob was picturing them strolling on the beach together. I clenched my teeth tight enough to cut steel, I was so annoyed. Yes, I was undeniably aggravated. Abruptly my mood was lightened when I saw how Bella was trying to flirt with Jacob in his memory. I suddenly couldn't suppress a laugh that came through my still clenched teeth when I saw how Bella was attempting to flirt. She truly had no idea what she did to the males around her, how her light flick of her lashes brought some boys to their knees, begging to go out with her. Unexpectedly, I felt sorry for the child. It couldn't possibly be his fault that she was entirely unaware to her exquisiteness. â€Å"That was fun, Charlie,† Billy said, though his thoughts were elsewhere. I can't believe I didn't get the opportunity to tell Charlie about Edward! Next time†¦ So, Billy did recognize me earlier. He probably weaved an intricate thread of lies into Bella's head. His recollection of his histories was more involved than I realized, but still, his opinions are based solely on half-truths. â€Å"Come up for the next game,† Charlie encouraged. â€Å"Sure, sure,† Billy said. â€Å"We'll be here. Have a good night.† He suddenly looked at Bella. I'm going to have a talk with her about this Cullen business. â€Å"You take care, Bella,† he added gravely. Billy had every right to be concerned about Bella. She was hanging around a vampire†¦ for fun; what's more perilous than that? And not just any vampire; the one who hungered after her blood above all others of his kind. Though Bella's mind is cut off to my extraordinary gift, one thing was still certain: she was absolutely unique. â€Å"Thanks,† she mumbled and then looked away. She didn't look incredibly pleased with Billy and without thinking about it, once again I tried to penetrate the solid wall surrounding her thoughts. Nothing, silence. So, instead, I was now observing Bella via Charlie's mind which was quite tedious at times considering his thoughts were sometimes non-existent and his human eyes were weak. I saw the back of Bella's head through his cloudy human vision as she began walking towards the stairs. Charlie hurriedly called out to her. â€Å"Wait, Bella.† She jerked slightly and turned around warily. She had a severe look on her face, or maybe it was a look of guilt†¦shame? Hum, I really hope I hadn't missed anything for the short period of time that I was gone. What could she possibly be feeling guilty about? Again, I was chastising myself for not just giving up my hopeless effort to stay away from her. There was something I missed and now I was regretting my absence. â€Å"I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight. How was your day?† Charlie inquired. â€Å"Good,† Bella said, still hesitating on the stairs. It looked like she was in deep thought and once again I was perturbed by the lack of thoughts emitting from her. What could possibly be going through that curious mind of hers? I tried to probe her mind once more, just to check, before I reached the silent and impenetrable barrier that was always there. â€Å"My badminton team won all four games,† she said dubiously. I immediately remembered her hitting the net, herself, and Mike in one swing. Now that I knew she was all right, I laughed loudly. The poor girl really was the clumsiest creature I had ever known. She seriously had the grace of a drunk sailor playing golf. â€Å"Wow, I didn't know you could play badminton!† Charlie exclaimed. Four games? Wow. I'm impressed. I laughed even louder at the fact that he thought she was the reason why the team won. Charlie was truly taken aback and had every right to be according to her statement. â€Å"Well, actually I can't, but my partner is really good,† she admitted with chagrin. Oh. I should have known better. â€Å"Who is it?† he insisted. â€Å"Um†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she hesitated. â€Å"†¦Mike Newton.† Jealousy ripped at me. This new emotion was masterfully working its way into my daily routine and continuing to aggravate me. She didn't like him, it was obvious, yet every time they talked or I had to listen to his every fantasy, the little green monster grew to another size. â€Å"Oh yeah ?C you said you were friends with the Newton kid. Nice family. Why didn't you ask him to the dance this weekend?† Charlie was smiling now and his thoughts were wistful. There it was again, the now larger green monster tugging at my heart, making me want to bring my previous ‘torture Mike' fantasies to reality. Blow torches came to mind. â€Å"Dad!† Bella groaned, snapping me out of my unhealthy fantasy. â€Å"He's kind of dating my friend Jessica. Besides, you know I can't dance.† â€Å"Oh, yeah,† Charlie muttered, disappointed. â€Å"So I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday†¦ I've made plans to go fishing with the guys from the station. The weather's supposed to be real warm. But if you wanted to put your trip off till someone could go with you, I'd stay home. I know I leave you here alone too much.† â€Å"Dad, you're doing a great job.† Bella smiled at him and I saw a sign of relief in her eyes. What was she so relieved about? Why wasn't she telling him she would be with me that day? Even if we weren't going to Seattle, as long as he knew she was with me†¦I'd have to bring her back. If she doesn't†¦No. Stop there. â€Å"I've never minded being alone ?C I'm too much like you.† She winked at him, a sign of trust. She went upstairs after that and I could hear her preparing for bed. As soon as she was asleep I would be in her room again, watching over her as her vampire protector. Bella slept very peacefully that night. I was sitting in my usual spot and taking pleasure in the delectable fragrance that was now engrained in my mind forever. Each breath sent flames down my throat, but it was somewhat pleasurable, too. I was hoping that with each painful gulp of air I would eventually become immune to her scent. Deep down, I was still mildly worried that I wouldn't stay in control for long when I had her alone in the far away meadow. I took in another breath and it was like swallowing daggers, but it was almost a good pain, a sweet pain. After several hours, the scent started to feel less agonizing and much sweeter. I was grateful that it was becoming easier to be around her. If I were to be away from her for any period of time I would be afraid I would have to start all over again. I sighed. I was just giving myself excuses to never leave her. Tonight, I ventured towards her pile of books. Along with Shakespeare there were other classics. Her copy of Wuthering Heights was torn to pieces. Going through the small pile next to her bed, I learned that she still had several surprises up her sleeves. She was, undoubtedly, the most original and unordinary teenager I had ever met. When dawn broke across the night sky, I decided I needed to leave before Charlie woke up. Darting through the misty forest, I was whizzing past trees at a lethal speed. The air from the night was moving rapidly past me and my throat was still burning from her magnificent fragrance. I was thinking about hunting prior to Saturday so that I would be prepared before I was with her in the meadow†¦ alone. Me and her delicate soul alone ?C no thoughts, no nosy vampires – just me and her in the riveting meadow. The monster was too tightly bound and needed a release. Just a small ounce of prevention ?C inadequate though I knew it would be. When I arrived at home Alice was waiting for me, already in on the plan. Let's go this afternoon!She beamed at me. Her eyes were twinkling and she couldn't suppress her radiant smile. I soon saw why she wanted to go hunting with me so badly. Her vision was clear; she would be introduced to Bella today. Even though the meeting would be quick and last a few seconds, she was elated. â€Å"Is that the only reason you want to go hunting with me?† I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Of course not, silly! I don't want you to hurt her, Edward. Hunting before you see Bella is a great idea. You could use my company, too. I can tell it bothers you that you don't have the greatest self-control, and I am used to it with Jasper. I understand. â€Å"Okay, but you better be good! Don't thrust yourself on Bella. I don't want to scare her off.† I paused for a moment before adding, â€Å"even though she probably needs a good dose of fear.† I frowned. Alice just grinned widely and scampered off into the house as she sang joyfully in her mind about meeting her new best friend. â€Å"I mean it!† I shouted. I washed up, jumped into my Volvo and hurried back to Bella's, pulling into the driveway as soon as Charlie was gone. Bella ran out of the house quickly, and this time she didn't hesitate before she got into the car eagerly. Her hair was shiny and smelled like strawberries, a strong whiff of it hit me as she shut the car door. As soon as the door was shut, her aroma swam around my nose. I was beginning to enjoy her scent, embracing it instead of cringing away from it. No mistakes. As soon as I saw her smiling face and recognized that she was pleased to see me, too, I couldn't help but smile back at her, it was an automatic response. â€Å"How did you sleep?† I asked. I knew she slept well. I kept watch over her all night. She didn't even speak. It must have been a dreamless night for her. â€Å"Fine, how was your night?† She smiled wider. â€Å"Pleasant.† I was thinking about how Bella had another suitor she didn't want, Jacob Black. She said yes to me. I couldn't help but feel euphoric. She looked at me and her eyes were so warm and inviting. Her hot, delicious breath surrounded me and I just wanted to tell her how much I loved her. Couldn't she tell? It must be obviously splayed across my face. I took in the air between us. Mouth-watering; there were no other words to describe it. â€Å"Can I ask what you did?† she inquired with a smirk. She wanted to know what I was doing last night. Did she really care what I did, or was she just being polite? No, she did think about me. She even thinks that her feelings for me overshadow my own. She couldn't comprehend the mere complexity of my love for her. She didn't realize how lucky I really was. â€Å"No, today is still mine,† I said. She looked at me in disbelief and kitten outrage. Today I had a brand new list of questions to ask her. I asked her about Renee, her hobbies, and what the two of them did in their free time together. I wanted to know about her grandparents, even her school friends. Every thought I unlocked was like opening a door to a new world. During our lunch break together, I remembered I wanted to know more about her past relationships; or not, actually, but I still had to know her complete story. My lips moved and freed the question before I gave them permission to do so. She looked embarrassed and I watched as her face went from her lovely white and slowly began to flush pink. The flood of blood up to her face made me bite down on my cheek. Her flush was utterly stunning, and delectable. My surprise kept the monster at bay as the realization of the fact that she had never chosen anyone before me hit. Were we dating? Is that what this is called?It was hard to believe that she didn't have someone in the past. Every male she has come across has had to mentally remind themselves to put their tongues back in their mouths. They flock to her. Did she say no to every one of them, even before me? She said yes to me, I reminded myself. â€Å"So, you never met anyone you wanted?† I asked. â€Å"Not in Phoenix,† she answered, blushing again. What are you thinking? My lips pressed together into a hard line. I watched her across the cafeteria table as she took a bite of her bagel. Human food did look utterly disgusting. What does Edward see in Bella? She isn't even pretty, Jessica glared at her. I wanted to shield Bella from her thoughts, but at that moment I remembered my hunting trip. â€Å"I should have let you drive yourself today.† â€Å"Why?† she demanded. She looked confused. â€Å"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch,† I said She blinked, â€Å"Oh.† She looked disappointed and then said, â€Å"That's okay; it's not that far of a walk.† What? She couldn't be serious. After all this time did she not think of me as a gentleman? I would never make her walk. I was frowning. â€Å"I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you.† â€Å"I don't have my key with me,† she sighed. â€Å"I really don't mind walking.† She looked upset then. What are you thinking now? This was getting exasperating. I shook my head. I know where the key is, Edward, Alice's thoughts chimed in. â€Å"Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition ?C unless you're afraid someone might steal it.† I laughed. Who would want to steal that truck? If someone did I would hunt them down. â€Å"All right,† she agreed. She pursed her lips like she was thinking hard and I could almost see a hint of a challenge. I smirked at the thought. Having a psychic as a little sister had its advantages. â€Å"So where are you going?† she asked casually. â€Å"Hunting,† I answered grimly. â€Å"If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can.† Run, Bella, run! Stay, Bella, stay, I was pleading silently. I had to give Bella the choice. It had to be her choice, always. â€Å"You can always cancel, you know.† She looked down and I was frustrated because I couldn't see her face. â€Å"No,† she whispered and looked up at me again. â€Å"I can't.† She can't? I sighed mentally and realized that I couldn't cancel either. â€Å"Perhaps you're right.† She changed the subject, â€Å"What time will I see you tomorrow?† she asked. She looked upset. Had I said something to upset her? Exasperating, not knowing her thoughts was purely frustrating. Did some god send this wonderful creature here to drive me mad? Hoping I hadn't upset her I answered, â€Å"That depends†¦ it's Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?† I offered. â€Å"No!† she answered quickly. I almost felt my heart restart after 80 years of being still. She didn't want to sleep in because she wanted to be with me. I tried my best to suppress a smile so she wouldn't be able to tell how pleased this actually made me. â€Å"The same time as usual, then,† I decided. Then I wondered about Charlie. She didn't tell him that she was going with me, I speculated how she was going to explain me showing up at her house, â€Å"Will Charlie be there?† Her eyes grew tight and she said, â€Å"No, he's fishing tomorrow.† She seemed enormously pleased about something. I thought about taking her and never bringing her back. Stop! That fantasy, above all the rest, should be the one I would will myself to never think. Didn't she want me to bring her back? I was feeling frustrated and my voice came out a little sharper then I meant, â€Å"And if you don't come home, what will he think?† She looked at me like she was prepared to answer this question, â€Å"I have no idea, he knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer.† She was tempting me to seize her and run for it! I scowled at her and she attempted to be angry by scowling back. Just like always, she was just a vicious kitten. She scowled at me for a few more moments and then her expression changed. She looked thoughtful. What was she thinking now? â€Å"What are you hunting tonight?† she inquired like she was asking me to pass the salt. It was so causal, like she was asking about the weather or what was on TV. â€Å"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far.† I mused. â€Å"Why are you going with Alice?† she asked with obvious curiosity. I considered this for a moment. She talked about my clandestine existence like it was normal. I mulled things over; how to tell her that it was Alice that was going because most of my family members were†¦ un-approving of my newly found obsession with a human girl. â€Å"She is the most†¦ supportive.† I frowned, thinking about her visions of vampire Bella. You know it is because I am your favorite sister. Alice thought. Great, she was listening. Bella looked up at me with her beautiful chocolate eyes, â€Å"And the others?† she asked apprehensively, â€Å"What are they?† Pissed off that is what we are. Rosalie thought. Emmet looked at Rosalie then and followed her stare. I try to rein her in bro, but she is feisty. That's Rosalie for ya. Emmett thought. I wrinkled my brow and replied the best way I could without hurting her feelings, â€Å"Incredulous, for the most part.† I watched her gaze go from my face to over her shoulder. I watched my family with disbelief. They were staring off in different directions, acting like they weren't listening. I couldn't be so lucky. â€Å"They don't like me,† she guessed. She wouldn't think that Edward if you would introduce us. You know Bella and I are going to be best friends. You know how much I love her. Alice mused. â€Å"That's not it,† I disagreed. Liar, Rosalie thought. â€Å"They don't understand why I can't leave you alone.† I said. Damn right I can't understand. She's a human. Rosalie thought with disgust. It's true bro, I can't really understand the appeal, but if it makes you happy then I got your back. Emmett contemplated. â€Å"Neither do I, for that matter.† Bella added on top of the already massive amounts of thoughts coming from my family over this conversation. I couldn't accept that she would consider something like that. Didn't she know that her beauty was one of a kind, inside and out? I've never meet a being quite like her before. I shook my head and rolled my eyes towards the ceiling, partially for her answer, and partially answering my family's thoughts. I looked back at Bella, â€Å"I told you ?C you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me.† She glared at me with her furious kitten face again. I smiled at her face, â€Å"Having the advantages I do,† I mused, touching my forehead, â€Å"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you†¦ you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise.† She looked away then, and back at my family. She looked†¦ embarrassed? Upset? I couldn't tell, â€Å"That part is easy enough to explain,† I added. I wished she would look my direction, â€Å"But there's more†¦ and it's not so easy to put into words-â€Å" What the hell are you thinking of saying to her, Edward? Rosalie then turned and glared at Bella. What is so special about this girl? Huh? I don't see it. She is so breakable and human. You just keep her around because she smells like the greatest snack you'll ever have! Rosalie continued to give Bella a fierce look. If you take a bite out of her this will hurt our whole family, you know that! I had it with her and I snarled under my breath. Whatever, nitwit. Rosalie turned her head then. Bella looked back at me then and I was relieved to see her face. She looked†¦ frightened? Was that possible? Did Bella even know what fear was? I was going to have to give Rosalie a good scolding later. â€Å"I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see†¦ it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I didn't want to finish my sentence. I was hoping she wouldn't ask to hear the rest, but of course, she would want to know. â€Å"If?† â€Å"If this ends†¦ badly.† I put my head in my hands and tried to push the thought out of my head. Maybe she will finally see that this is serious. That I could†¦ gulp†¦ kill her at any moment. I could breathe her delectable scent in and one day the monster might break free from the darkness I put him in and decide to taste the delicious blood that I could see pulsing on her neck. I heard her drop her hand on the table. I kept trying to push those thoughts away, but then I took in a large gulp of her rich aroma. Instantly the monster reared up. I heard Bella's shaky voice then, â€Å"And you have to leave now?† The monster retreated then. â€Å"Yes,† wait, she wasn't†¦. scared? She still didn't want me to leave? I relaxed and couldn't help but look delighted, â€Å"It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology ?C I don't think I could take any more.† Bella gave me a look like she completely understood what I meant, she must have been feeling the same way about the dull movie, not like I was watching it anyways. It's time to meet Bella! Yay! Alice trilled in her mind. I could see the back of my head from her vision as she skipped over to the table. â€Å"Alice,† I said. â€Å"Edward,† she answered, and added, this is where you introduce us, in her thoughts. â€Å"Alice, Bella ?C Bella, Alice,† I introduced them, hoping that Alice won't start bugging me every five minutes about hanging out with her. I only barely obtained Bella, and I didn't want Alice to take all her time away from me. â€Å"Hello, Bella,† Alice smiled, â€Å"It's nice to finally meet you.† Once again I saw a vision of her and Bella arm in arm, smiling at each other, Bella's eyes bright, crimson red. I shot a dark look at her. â€Å"Hi, Alice,† Bella whispered shyly. â€Å"Are you ready?† Alice asked me. I didn't want to leave Bella, but I was more than happy to remove Alice from her, â€Å"Nearly, I'll meet you at the car.† I met Bella, yay. Edward, you know this means that we get to start hanging out right? Alice beamed. I glanced at Bella and as she watched Alice dance away. â€Å"Should I say ‘have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?† she asked, looking back at me. Her expression showed a painful emotion, like me leaving her for a short moment in time would cause her great pain. She was so nonchalant about talking about my world that I couldn't help but grin. â€Å"No, ‘have fun,' works as well as anything.† I said. â€Å"Have fun, then† she said, I could tell there was an edge to her voice. Was she going to miss me while I was away? Being separated from her was overwhelmingly painful, was she feeling this way too? She couldn't possibly grasp the concept of the kind of love I felt for her. â€Å"I'll try,† I continued to smile at her, â€Å"And you try to be safe, please.† â€Å"Safe in Forks ?C what a challenge.† â€Å"For you it is a challenge.† I hoped that she remembered my last request about her safety; that she stays out of the woods. â€Å"Promise.† I begged. If she put herself in harm's way or was hurt in any way because I wasn't there to protect her†¦ it would shattered my cold, silent, heart into pieces. â€Å"I promise to try to be safe,† she mused, â€Å"I'll do the laundry tonight ?C that ought to be fraught with peril.† If that were all she was going to do this evening, she should be safe. I remembered her incident in gym from the other day and grasped the concept that no matter what Bella was doing, there was always an opportunity for her to injure herself. The thought merely brought on an internal chuckle, though, and I teased, â€Å"Don't fall in.† â€Å"I'll do my best† she mocked. I stood then, wishing I didn't have to leave. Bella got up too. â€Å"I'll see you tomorrow,† she sighed. I was suddenly absorbed by my desires again. Maybe if I just lightly gripped her around the waist, I would only have to concentrate on the amount of pressure I used. No mistakes, I scolded myself. I suppressed a sigh. â€Å"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?† I asked. She nodded with a sullen expression. She was continually saying yes to me. â€Å"I'll be there in the morning,† I promised. The infatuation I had over touching her was winning my inner dispute. I longed to hold her in my arms, to be engulfed in her warmth. I was craving her touch, too. My body was burning with the yearning to possess her and before I knew it I had reached over and touched her face, lightly touching her cheekbone. Her scent was lingering between us and I took air in my lungs slowly, as if to make the burning and aching of my throat a more pleasurable experience. It wasn't, it was only a burning pain and I knew if I didn't turn away now I wouldn't stop at her face. I'd grab at her waist and bring my lips to hers. No mistakes, I yelled internally. I turned on my heel and strode swiftly from the room, even though my mind was begging me to turn around and take the girl into my arms and†¦ stop there! When I arrived at the car Alice was sitting on the hood, â€Å"You know, Carlisle could help you turn her,† Alice mused. I glared at her. â€Å"I will not take her life Alice!† â€Å"Sure fooled me, I thought I was going to have to drag you out of the lunch room with the visions that were flashing in my mind,† Alice said, â€Å"Now I'm super thirsty after all the imagines I saw,† she faux pouted. â€Å"Like I said, I won't end her life,† I eyed her evenly. â€Å"Like I said,† she mocked, â€Å"you should ask Carlisle. If you aren't biting her because you are afraid you will end her life, then why? To keep her human?† she looked at me in aversion, â€Å"but you know†¦ Carlisle won't kill her.† Alice continued. â€Å"Alice, Bella will not be turned into a vampire, the first one who tries will suffer the consequences!† I growled. â€Å"Okay, okay. Just a thought, Edward,† she looked unhappy. Alice got into the Volvo and we drove to Bella's. She'll be fine, you know? Her night looks extremely uneventful. She really needs to get out more†¦ Alice thought. â€Å"I know, being away from her just makes me extremely anxious,† I explained. â€Å"I know,† she trilled. We arrived at Bella's shortly. You'll find the key in her blue jeans downstairs in a blue laundry basket, Alice thought, figured I would save you some time. You would have found it eventually, of course, but this way you get out of there quicker. â€Å"Thanks, Alice,† I said, glad our little spat was patched up, or at least put behind us. â€Å"You're Welcome!† Alice said while she jumped in the driver's side of the Volvo and drove off towards our house. I was lurking inside Bella's house and found her truck key quickly. Her lingering scent was ever present throughout the house. I was breathing in deeper than I ever had before around the seductive scent, only because she wasn't here in the house. I was in no danger of hurting her when she wasn't here, I contemplated. So I took in another gulp of her perfume before I left the house, which I know I would regret later when I was hunting. I drove her truck back to the school; her aroma was stronger in here than in her house. I tried to distract my mind by musing over all the things I could upgrade on her truck before Bella got out of school. If Rosalie and I were on better terms I would have her do some work under the hood. This truck couldn't possibly be that safe. I grabbed a piece of paper out of my backpack and decided to write a note to Bella. I have a keep sake from her, she deserves to have one from me, too. I thought of what to write while I was driving (more like snail crawling) back to the school. I decided simple was safer. When I parked the truck I left the key in the ignition and wrote â€Å"Be Safe† on the white piece of paper. I left it in her seat. I checked to make sure there was no one looking and I speed off through the forest and back home. Alice was waiting on the doorstep for me. â€Å"Are you ready?† She trilled. â€Å"Yes, let's go.† We sprinted through the forest in silence for several miles. I knew it was safe to hunt when the only thoughts I heard were Alice's. She was thinking about what she was going to pick out for Rosalie to wear tomorrow, whether green and pink or black and pink would look better on her new design for a shirt, and which shoe would look better with Esme's pants, open toed or not. Her thoughts wondered every which fashionable way possible, and I was grateful. I didn't want her to bring Bella up. She had so many visions and images in her mind when it came to Bella, and I would never be ready to see some of those visions come to light. Her mind suddenly shifted to our purpose. She stopped suddenly and her eyes went blank. I saw flashes of a large animal in her thoughts but they were flashing and changing so rapidly I was unable to ascertain what she was seeing. Her eyes focused on me now; there is a bear 5 miles from here. Go north and follow the river, you will run into him in 8.2 miles. Alice smiled at me. â€Å"You know, Emmett will be jealous if I tell him you helped me catch a grizzly.† I grinned. â€Å"I know, but you need carnivore blood to help you out with tomorrow.† She smirked. â€Å"Meet you back here in 30?† I asked. You've got it! She was gone before she finished her thought. I ran north until I hit the river and followed it. I was letting the monster out of the cage, disengaging my ever flimsy hold on my growing thirst. The monster had been begging for release more than normal lately and I finally let my animal instincts take over. I thought of Bella's blood, and I was instantly ravenous. I came across a bear exactly 8.2 miles from my starting location. Alice really did have an amazing gift. The monster reared up and I let out a menacing growl. The bear stood on its hind legs and growled back unimpressively. I leapt towards the beast and quenched my thirst. I was right, Bella's scent and blood even made the bear's blood dull to the point of being dissatisfying. Bears were much more delicious then the deer I usually ate, but I had been exceedingly gluttonous with feeding since I met Bella, making my meals less than appetizing. When the animal was dry of its blood I pushed the carcass off me and breathed in the cold night air. I rejoined with Alice shortly after. â€Å"Are you going to Bella's tonight?† she asked. â€Å"Of course, Alice, why?† I stared at her suspiciously. â€Å"Oh, well, Jasper and Emmett have been missing you like crazy, I think I might have even seen Emmett pout the other night when you left so early,† she chortled. I didn't respond. I know that I had been spending an abundance of my time with Bella, but didn't they understand? They hardly leave their other half. That is what Bella had become though, my other half. â€Å"Please, Edward†¦ please,† she begged. I couldn't stand to see my little sister beg like this. I did owe my family a plenitude of my time after everything I had been putting them through lately. â€Å"Okay Alice, but just for the earlier hours of the evening,† I gave in. During the evening Jasper, Emmet, Alice and myself decided that we were going to play cards. With the many talents my family members have, you would think that playing cards would be ludicrous. Jasper would be feeling the triumph or failure emitting from a card player, Alice would see future moves that you were going to make, and I could hear their thoughts. We didn't play games where we had to use our brains though. The card games we played were strictly speed based. With our vampire speed we tore through every deck of cards. Jasper and Emmet loved to gamble, and our games wouldn't be the same without a bet. Because of their constant opposition, Esme made us move our game outside before Emmett broke anymore furniture. Rosalie was still fuming about the situation with Bella, but even she couldn't hold herself up in the garage anymore and came to play. After 79 decks of cards, 2 broken tables, 1 broken vase, 1 ripped shirt (Jaspers), and 3 trees knocked down, we decided that we had ca used enough destruction. I did get pleasure from the time spent during the evening with my siblings. My regular moping had abruptly wilted away after I came back from Denali. I could tell that my family was enjoying the new Edward, the less mummy-like Edward. Something told me they didn't want the sulky one back again, which just gave me another excuse to stay with Bella. Time passed slowly, even with the fun I was having with my family. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 10pm. I quickly stood up, ready to leave and watch Bella sleep. Emmett looked up at me and gave me a pleading look. Come on bro, we are about to play some serious football. Jasper and I have come up with some new rules; you have to catch the ball with your elbows only. Come on, it will be hilarious! Emmett begged. Plus I have a bet that†¦ he continued, but I interrupted him. â€Å"Emmett, I'm sorry†¦ maybe another time. It makes me uneasy to be away from her, you understand, right?† Emmett scoffed and I grinned, â€Å"I knew you would understand!† When I arrived at Bella's, she was already asleep. Any normal teenager would have been out with friends, going on a date, or shopping†¦ but not my Bella. When I finally climbed through her window, I heard music playing. I was instantly intrigued. It was Chopin's Nocturnes. Once again, we shared a common interest. I knew this CD well. As I stepped closer to her, the scent that had almost taken me the first time we met entered my lungs and I felt like succumbing to the monster inside. She turned over once, and I heard her sigh my name. The clawing monster was instantly diminished. She didn't move much after that, and she even lightly snored. I sat in the rocking chair breathing her scent in deeply. I was fighting all of my cravings tonight. She looked absolutely beautiful with her hair splayed across her face and pillow. Her pink cheeks lightly flushed. How long was I going to be able to suppress my growing desires to touch her? I knew that our trip to the meadow would either be our breaking or making point. Would she leave alive, or would she leave a vampire? I won't end her life, I promised myself. Tomorrow, of all the days I had spent with Bella, would be the one day I would not be allowed to make a mistake. I repeated, no mistakes, to myself for good measure. I suppressed a sigh. I honestly don't know if I will ever really leave her alone, but I would like to think that after tomorrow, I will have a plan. When it started to get light outside I decided to leave, realizing Charlie would be up soon to go fishing. I was leaning over Bella, taking in her scent one last time before I left, and suddenly my hand was at her face lightly caressing. I pulled away immediately and flew out the window. I decided that before I took Bella to the meadow, I needed to see Alice. Her visions were versatile lately. My future was a mystery and I wanted reassurance that Bella would come home to Charlie alive and unharmed. I knew what my decisions would be, but these new cravings were taking over. How many times had I reached out and touched Bella, not even realizing it until my hand was warming from her skin. Alice greeted me at the door, â€Å"Edward, I know you are worried, let me show you what I see. There was one outcome where you bite Bella and she becomes a vampire, hum†¦ but that one has become distant and fuzzy. This clearer vision shows you and Bella laying in the meadow, and my last vision shows you bringing her home safely.† Alice showed me mentally. I had a lump in my throat as I tried to thrust the first vision from my mind. That lump continued to grow as I began panicking. I didn't know how to ask, but I had to ask for her help. Before I could request her help, Alice answered, â€Å"I will be close by Edward. I won't let anything happen to Bella.† I love her too, doesn't he realize this! â€Å"Thanks, Alice.† I whispered. I swiftly rose up the stairs to prepare myself for our new journey together.

Thursday, August 1, 2019

“Necessity Is Something in the Mind, Not in Objects”

Hume believed that the common notion of cause and effect is wrong. This conviction on his part stemmed directly from the assumptions he made earlier on when creating his philosophical system. He divided human perception into two: â€Å"impressions† were supposed to be instant, strong feelings or perceptions, whereas â€Å"ideas† are those that have already faded away, leaving us with only a partial knowledge of what we felt.Ideas have their source in impressions; therefore if there exists a rational idea of necessity, it has to come from an earlier impression. Yet no impression coming from our external environment can give us any idea about necessity. Nor can we find it in ourselves, because even if we see our body move a hand, how can we be sure it is us who moves it? As it inevitably turns out, according to Hume, because we have no experience of necessity, it is our mind that creates these connections we are so sure about.It is our habit to look for cause and effect, because that’s the way to easily explain how world functions to ourselves. We are assuming that certain causes will create equal effects as in the past not because we can prove it, but because it has been this way before. A good example of this is how we expect the Sun to rise every morning – using the mathematical method of induction we assume that what has been true in the past, will be true in the future as well.Of course, something might stop the Sun from rising in the morning, so the right thing would be to say that it is highly probable that it will rise, but there is no certainty. We skip all of this, because it’s more convenient, and it lies in human nature to take advantage of it. Of course, Hume does not say, that causality/necessity doesn’t in fact exist, he only points to the fact that we are unable to derive its existence from hard facts and are instead using a very defective method of reasoning.